TOP 10 REASONS YOU’RE NOT VACCINATED

More than 147 million people in the U.S. have been vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s more than half of the eligible adult population. But not everyone wants that shot in the arm. For them, we offer:

Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Vaccinated

10. You have ZERO trust in the American government, which you simply refer to as “THEY.” 

9. The entire pandemic was a hoax concocted by antifa to take away your right to bear semi-automatic assault weapons at youth baseball games.  

8. In 2013, you got herpes after getting a flu shot. 

7. You have no confidence in American science, as evidenced by your belief, “The only reason I failed World Science three times in high school is because Mr. Johnson was full of shit.” 

6. Your daily consumption of vodka prevents anything from living in your system. 

5. Your prophet said, “Don’t get it. You’ll be fine. I’ll bring your daughter home tomorrow.”

4. It could affect your pickleball game.

3. The vaccine is “just a tracking device.” Yet you spend 15 hours a day on your cell phone — shopping with your debit card and buying everything Amazon decides you want.

2. All those “doctors” are just “slaves” to the pharmaceutical companies.  

1. You’re waiting until everyone else gets it so you know it’s safe.

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