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Tag: The Tops

HUMOR: TOP 10 SIGNS IT’S SEPTEMBER IN THE FLORIDA KEYS

For locals in the Florida Keys, September’s “off season” doesn’t mean what it once did, as crowds continue to fill the Florida Keys. But there is still a slight change  of “season” here in our island chain. We bring you… Top 10 Signs It’s September in the Florida Keys  10. The Jumping Bridge is a “secret” once again.  9.  Your favorite restaurant suddenly remembers your name and drink order.  8.  You can travel from one side of Islamorada to the other without the ice melting in your mojito. 7.  It’s boat month, as in the one month you have time to enjoy your...

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TOP 10 ICONIC ROCK DRUMMERS OF ALL TIME

Occasionally we break from humorous themes in our Top 10 feature to provide a subjective take on pop culture, movies, books and more. This week the world lost an icon when Charlie Watts, longtime drummer for The Rolling Stones, died peacefully at the age of 80. While the Stones are arguably the greatest rock band ever, Watts paved the way for future drummers, setting a high standard for those dreaming of banging the sticks in front of thousands of fans. Yet even today, lead singers and guitarists often steal the spotlight in most bands, so to honor the late and great Charlie Watts, we subjectively...

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HUMOR: TOP 10 SIGNS FANTASY FOOTBALL IS HERE…

With the start of the NFL season just under a month away, the players are back on the practice field and fantasy football managers are devouring daily news feeds to gain a leg up on their competition. For those who compete in fantasy leagues, the season can’t begin soon enough. For those who don’t, the eye-rolling has already begun.  Top 10 signs fantasy football is here… 10. Your husband has suddenly lost interest in the Tom Girardi and Erika Jayne scandal.   9. Your wife’s safe words are, “Omaha! Omaha!”  8. You’ve canceled a kid’s birthday party, family vacation...

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KEYS HUMOR: THE TOP 10 “OTHER WAYS” YOUR PRIVACY IS POSSIBLY BEING EXPOSED

As we all know by now, people will debate vaccinations, masks and science until they’re blue in the face. But if there’s one consistent conspiracy that has lingered from one presidential term to the next, it’s the belief that vaccinations offer backdoor access to one’s personal privacy and identity. Look, we’re not here to debate one side or the other. But when it comes to privacy issues, we believe there are (possibly) some common practices that might be leaving your identity more vulnerable than getting jabbed by a COVID shot. So whether it’s the Russians, Chinese government, Big Pharma or...

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HUMOR: TOP 10 BONE-HEADED AMERICAN THINGS NOT TO DO DURING THE SUMMER OLYMPICS IN TOKYO, JAPAN

The 2021 Summer Olympics kick off July 23 with opening ceremonies in Tokyo, Japan. The games were first held in 1896 in Athens, Greece, and were most recently held in 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This year’s summer Olympics will take place in the shadow of a global pandemic, but still will allow Japan’s art, traditions, architecture and cultural beauty to shine on the national stage.  So, for Americans watching at home, what could go wrong? We have some ideas. Here are… Top 10 Bone-headed American Things to Do During the Summer Olympics in Tokyo, Japan   10. Allow ESPN’s Stephen...

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KEYS HUMOR: TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WHILE WAITING FOR AIRLINE CUSTOMER SERVICE TO CALL BACK

Have you called your favorite airline lately? If so, you likely heard something like, “Due to heavy call volume, wait times are currently longer than normal. Rather than wait on hold, we can call you back in the order you called. Your current wait time is … nine hours.” We can’t make this stuff up. Even after a busy holiday travel weekend, this is still the current recording that most airlines are happy to offer. But do not fret. Always here to help (and offer some hands-on experience) the Keys Weekly has a solution to your wait time woes. Here are… The Top 10 Things You Can...

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Top Ten Real Reasons Liz Cheney was removed as GOP Conference Chair

House Republicans ousted Rep. Liz Cheney from her post as a GOP leader on May 13, reportedly as punishment for refusing to credit former President Donald Trump’s claims the election was stolen. That’s not the REAL reason. TOP 10 REAL REASONS LIZ CHENEY WAS REMOVED FROM GOP LEADERSHIP  10. Refusal to share Disney+ login credentials with fellow legislators. 9. Failure to use the new cover sheets on her TPS reports. 8. Tested positive for a betamethasone – a substance banned by the Federal Horse Racing Commission. 7. Because “truth bombs” can be incredibly ironic sometimes.  6. ...

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TOP 10 REASONS YOU’RE NOT VACCINATED

More than 147 million people in the U.S. have been vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s more than half of the eligible adult population. But not everyone wants that shot in the arm. For them, we offer: Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Vaccinated 10. You have ZERO trust in the American government, which you simply refer to as “THEY.”  9. The entire pandemic was a hoax concocted by antifa to take away your right to bear semi-automatic assault weapons at youth baseball games.   8. In 2013, you got herpes after getting a flu shot.  7. You have no confidence in American science,...

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VACCINATION COULD AFFECT YOUR PICKLEBALL GAME?!

More than 147 million people in the U.S. have been vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s more than half of the eligible adult population. But not everyone wants that shot in the arm. For them, we offer: Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Vaccinated 10. You have ZERO trust in the American government, which you simply refer to as “THEY.”  9. The entire pandemic was a hoax concocted by antifa to take away your right to bear semi-automatic assault weapons at youth baseball games.   8. In 2013, you got herpes after getting a flu shot.  7. You have no confidence in American science,...

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TOP 10 REASONS BIDEN’S FAMILIES PLAN MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU

President Joe Biden is getting ready to unveil another $1.8 trillion plan to support education, child care and paid family leave during his first address to Congress this week. The massive package, dubbed the “American Families Plan,” is supposed to provide an equitable recovery from the COVID pandemic. The plan includes $1 trillion in spending and $800 million in tax credits for the middle class.  Top 10 reasons Biden’s American Families Plan may not be good for you:  The name of your boat is “Buck Fiden.” The Child Tax Credit doesn’t apply to your 28-year-old son who refuses to move out...

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