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Category: The Tops

Top Ten Real Reasons Liz Cheney was removed as GOP Conference Chair

House Republicans ousted Rep. Liz Cheney from her post as a GOP leader on May 13, reportedly as punishment for refusing to credit former President Donald Trump’s claims the election was stolen. That’s not the REAL reason. TOP 10 REAL REASONS LIZ CHENEY WAS REMOVED FROM GOP LEADERSHIP  10. Refusal to share Disney+ login credentials with fellow legislators. 9. Failure to use the new cover sheets on her TPS reports. 8. Tested positive for a betamethasone – a substance banned by the Federal Horse Racing Commission. 7. Because “truth bombs” can be incredibly ironic sometimes.  6. ...

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TOP 10 REASONS YOU’RE NOT VACCINATED

More than 147 million people in the U.S. have been vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s more than half of the eligible adult population. But not everyone wants that shot in the arm. For them, we offer: Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Vaccinated 10. You have ZERO trust in the American government, which you simply refer to as “THEY.”  9. The entire pandemic was a hoax concocted by antifa to take away your right to bear semi-automatic assault weapons at youth baseball games.   8. In 2013, you got herpes after getting a flu shot.  7. You have no confidence in American science,...

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VACCINATION COULD AFFECT YOUR PICKLEBALL GAME?!

More than 147 million people in the U.S. have been vaccinated against COVID-19. That’s more than half of the eligible adult population. But not everyone wants that shot in the arm. For them, we offer: Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Vaccinated 10. You have ZERO trust in the American government, which you simply refer to as “THEY.”  9. The entire pandemic was a hoax concocted by antifa to take away your right to bear semi-automatic assault weapons at youth baseball games.   8. In 2013, you got herpes after getting a flu shot.  7. You have no confidence in American science,...

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TOP 10 REASONS BIDEN’S FAMILIES PLAN MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU

President Joe Biden is getting ready to unveil another $1.8 trillion plan to support education, child care and paid family leave during his first address to Congress this week. The massive package, dubbed the “American Families Plan,” is supposed to provide an equitable recovery from the COVID pandemic. The plan includes $1 trillion in spending and $800 million in tax credits for the middle class.  Top 10 reasons Biden’s American Families Plan may not be good for you:  The name of your boat is “Buck Fiden.” The Child Tax Credit doesn’t apply to your 28-year-old son who refuses to move out...

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HIRING IN THE KEYS: TOP 10 REASONS IT’S SO DIFFICULT

The Florida Keys are enjoying a robust spring in terms of tourism, but most employers in the island chain are experiencing  a severe shortage of workers. To explain this challenge, the Keys Weekly brings you… Top 10 reasons it’s so difficult to hire in the Keys… 10. “Flee, run or escape” describes how the prospective candidate arrived in the Keys.  9. Stupid federal requirements – like furnishing a legitimate social security number. 8. Candidates find it difficult to schedule interviews when they are already working three other jobs. 7. Millennials need “creative hours and...

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TOP 10 SIGNS THE KEYS REAL ESTATE BUBBLE WILL BURST

Housing boom much? Homes seem to be moving off the market in the Keys faster than toilet paper moved off the shelves last spring. If you’ve been wondering about this market, we’re here to help. Top 10 signs the Florida Keys real estate bubble is ready to pop: You keep trying to explain to friends in your hometown that the 800-square-foot “fixer upper” you purchased for $750,000 was a great deal.   Your Realtor keeps bitching that her McLaren doesn’t have enough space for a second car seat.    There are fewer than 700 homes listed for sale in the Keys … and over 5,000 Realtors.    ...

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TOP 10 HEADLINES THAT PROVE TODAY’S POLITICAL BIAS

Typically we reserve our Weekly Top 10 lists for humorous anecdotes taken from local and national news headlines. And in fairness, we try to tread with a balanced approach to cover all sides of the political and social spheres. (In other words, we piss off both sides.) But  never before has it been more evident that news is subjective to the bias of its storyteller. For a right-wing perspective, watch Fox. For left-wing news, watch MSNBC. Every story, no matter how bizarre or atrocious, can be spun according to one’s political affiliation in this country. This is a growing problem in our news...

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