Category: Barstool Astrology

Bleach your bathtubs, my babies, Virgo season hath arrived. The modality of Virgo is advancement through ritual purification, it is decisive, exacting and at times ruthless in the pursuit of perfection. Virgo is ever operating from a place of intention rather than impulse; words are measured, actions weighed. It is in some ways the sign of our better angels or divine potential.  Bow to the godly, resist the lowly and exult in the humanity we find between.  Virgo Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 Fellow Virgo Siegfried Sassoon transformed his combat experience into a collection of poetry so visceral...

While the first half of August has been, astrologically speaking, a trying sort of dumpster fire, the remaining weeks are bound for glory. Five celestial bodies —the sun, Mercury, Venus, Saturn and Neptune — are giving us a much-needed dose of power and possibilities. Adding to this planetary good, the 22nd brings a blue moon. Full moons are related to endings and energy shifts. This blue moon will conjoin with gregarious, dice-rolling, planet of luck Jupiter, which should lend the whole lunation an air of good fortune.  To harness the energy of summer’s last act, be clear about what you...

Good news: We have the lion’s share of Leo season ahead of us. Troubling update: We need the promised distraction of pageantry, Polaroid nudes and one-night stands to weather the storm now that Chiron has stationed itself retrograde.  Chiron, named for the mythical centaur healer who suffered from an incurable wound, not so gently pulls back the scab and unearths the skeletons. Sage advice for survival from Indian mystic Papaji: “Whatever comes, let it come, what stays let stay, what goes let go.”  LeoJuly 23 to Aug. 22 My youngest sister and favorite lion, reminded an ex, “The thing...

Leo season is upon us, with an energy akin to Texas: big, brazen and boldly belt-buckled, shining relentlessly on those who have to squint and bear it. While Leo is the sign voted most likely to masturbate to their own sex tape, they’re also most likely to give to charity or post bail for an attractive stranger. Leo excels at creating, then stabilizing, dramatic situations. At worst, it’s stubborn, self-righteous and sort of mean. Conquering is curative to Leo, but it wants to rule magnanimously. Leo itself is ruled by the sun, the largest and brightest celestial body. Fittingly, Leo...

We remain in the soft saltwater belly of Cancer season, and all thoughts are on feelings, what rises to the surface and what has kept us from it. Emotions are heightened during this cycle and we should allow them their elevation and honor them through creative expression.  Cancer season invites us to be the kind of delicate, determined creature that feels acutely and creates urgently. Get to it.   CancerJune 21 to July 22 When Mercury, planet of communication, enters Cancer on July 11, you may find yourself in deep and out far in terms of conversations. Now is not the hour to...

The best and brightest news this week is the movement of lucky, jolly AF Jupiter into water sign Pisces where it will remain until late July. The effect of this home stay can be felt in flexible collaborations, relentless good vibes and heightened intuition. The whole scene is a lot like a Lisa Frank illustration, albeit with more nudity thanks to Taurus still hanging out in the heavens until May 20th. Jupiter will return to Pisces next year so think of these next few weeks as a buoyant preview of the good times to come.  Aries March 21 – April 19There is perhaps no word less sexy, interesting...